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Lickers and Busters

Many people work with the mouth of a pistol held on their foreheads. They know what to do, but they end up doing none of what they know because the Boss’s Decisions will always be final, anyhow e be. Then, at the tail end, it doesn’t work and they are blamed for it. No one blames the boss. “If you knew it that well, why didn’t you use your dumb head!” the same boss would bellow.

Then, there is always this group of colleagues who always fall at the master’s feet, licking hard, licking his sores real hard. So, the master looks at you as irrelevant. You become a-no-good to the firm. Everyone (arse lickers) sees you as an idiot for always coming up with fresh and new ideas, trying to make the boss look dim-witted. Arrrrhhh! You cry aloud, because your dreams for the firm always die inside of you. You end up giving up! Afterall, everyone earns the same paltry sum at the end of the month. And the arse lickers get extra cheques. You think, for once, of how to be an arse licker, but you’ve never done it before. You never did it in the previous firm you worked with, and that was why you remained under the same pay, like the lonely moon, for five bad years.

Now, I’m sure someone somewhere, who is reading this post, is either an arse licker or an arse buster. You may have been victimized, threatened, or even fired (yes, I said FIRED) for being stupidly intelligent, creative, innovative and hardworking, while others tiptoed into the lavatory, during working hours, sipped a few drops of alcohol, smoked and gossiped, even with the big boss. It is what most bosses enjoy. I know. You know. But let me tell you more of what the bosses enjoy.

Surprisingly, your story begins.

1. Bosses would always call on you (arse buster, not licker) whenever he runs into the difficulty of how to handle a few issues. It doesn’t matter if he calls you in secret, when the arse lickers are not around. He trusts your intelligence. That is why he keeps calling.

2. He sends you to handle areas that are difficult and messed up. Everyone (arse lickers) giggles when they hear it. They feel you are doomed. They celebrate your downfall, while you sit before your drawing board, weeping, working and creating knew plans. Soon enough, when you end up winning and winning well, arse lickers cry out, calling on the boss to change you because your work now seems easy. But the more you are changed the more you win. Halleluiah!

3. Bosses always call on you to prepare reports, after which they would force the custody or copyrights to that document under their ownership. Say no word! Just say no word.

4. Then soon, the next guy is dating the girl in the marketing department because he no more has serious work. They’re seen at a certain club in town. They are not the only ones that are there. The human resource guy is out with the front desk personnel, while the logistics officer is dating the boss’s secretary. You don’t club, or maybe you do, but only with your legit girlfriend or boyfriend or wife or husband. Smile. You have no problem. The boss knows, but keeps quiet.

5. Soon, everyone is fighting in the office, more emotionally inclined than official. The secretary frowns her face anytime she sees the logistics guy. He has refused to confirm their relationship before the entire staff of the firm. And the front desk lady is having a crush on the Auditor. She now avoids being with the human resource dude. The HR dude finds out, and is beefing the Auditor and the lady involved. The Auditor doesn’t even know because he has his eyes on the tea girl. No one is putting out their bests, and the entire revenue of the firm is seen dwindling. You think the boss would smile? Even if they’re arse lickers, suckers or scrubbers? No way!

6. Monday morning, the boss calls you, starts one of those yelling of his and almost, almost stabs you with a dagger. He says you are the reason why his firm is going down. His says that he had entrusted you with so much power as the Assistant Operations Manager because he felt you could do it. He cries out, because you have failed him and the firm has just made a little income that can only pay the staff. No profit made. Arrrghhhh again! Now you know you should have been in charge. You should have ignored all the gossips and gone ahead to straighten things. Now you are aware that all the arse lickers are under you. You wonder how much you have grown all these years still feeling the boss hated you. Now you are aware that arse busters, not lickers, always win.

7. The next month, you send a request to the boss for the Auditor to be placed on an indefinite suspension for working with the wrong figures, while the front desk lady receives a strong memo for not observing the word, polite, the day she forced the biggest client to leave the premises in fury. The HR guy is forced to serve himself a punishment for omitting the front desk lady’s name in the payroll. Even the tea girl’s pay is cut for serving you tea without the teabag.

8. Everyone gets talking about you again, but in dark rooms. You regret nothing being an arse buster.

I know that someone somewhere, who is reading this post, is either an arse licker or a BUSTER!

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